I woke up on my third day in Shanghai hoping for just one thing. I was hoping that the breakfast chef had been hit by a truck and had been replaced with a 3 Michelin star chef who would cook me the most fantastic breakfast ever. Alas, it wasn't to be. In fact, the breakfast had somehow got worse. Again, I picked some things and forced them down just so I had some energy for the day.

My plan was to have a quiet, slower day, as I was feeling a little worn out. I'd already seen most of Shanghai's major attractions, so I decided to head a little further away from the center of town to a park that the guidebook described as a "quiet oasis", or something like that. To get there, I had to take two trains.

I mentioned before that I wanted to talk about trains in Shanghai and the time has come. Let's mention the good things first.

The Shanghai underground is actually very well planned, with stations near all major attractions. Unlike the rest of the city, the underground is actually very clean and most of the stations look like they have been renovated recently. There is no litter and no bad smells. The trains are also very new and quite clean. Both the trains and stations have lots of large plasma TVs with information about the next train, the following train, time to the next station, weather etc. They also play short, quality drama programs which were filmed specifically for use on the train system. Amazingly, the trains also seem to come regularly and on time. I never had to wait more than a few minutes for a train. The ticketing system is also pretty good. There are manned ticket booths and automatic vending machines at all stations. The machines are fairly straight forward, and although they have an English option for visitors, they were simple enough that I didn't need to use that option. Tickets are cheap - from 3 yuan to 5 or 6 yuan depending on how far you are travelling. You stick your money in the machine, choose the value of your ticket and a plastic card (like a credit card) pops out. You stick it in the barrier as you enter the platform, and when you exit at your destination the barrier keeps your empty card. Easy.

So, in summary, the Shanghai underground has an EXCELLENT framework in place for enjoyable, efficient travel. I give it a 9 out of 10.

However, if I have to give a mark for the ACTUAL experience of using the system, it gets a very poor 1 out of 10. What's the problem?

Well, in two words - Shanghai people.

I have never had a public transport experience quite like the one I had in Shanghai. Let's start at the beginning, buying a ticket. As I mentioned, you can get a ticket at the booth or from the machine. The major problem with both these options is that Shanghai people (actually Chinese people in general, but Shanghai people in particular) are completely incapable of forming a proper queue. Any time more than two or three people are waiting it becomes a free-for-all scrum. On the rare occasions that a line begins to form, it will quickly be rendered useless by impatient people at the back who will push people out of the way or simply jump to the front of the queue. It's actually quite hard to fully describe the stupidity of the situation. Basically, you have to push hard, push people out of the way, shout at people, reach over people and, if you're lucky, you'll get a ticket. Furthermore, although the ticket machines are great, they have two major issues that contribute to the problem.

First, although they are simple for anyone who has lived in a city, they can be quite complex for people who have come from the technologically backward Chinese countryside (which makes up a huge percentage of train users). It's amazing how many people don't understand how a touch screen works, or how to put money into a machine, or how to get a refund etc. What's even more amazing is that many people have trouble reading the characters on the machine. Why? Because a large percentage of people who have come from the country are illiterate. They don't understand the concept of touching the screen, and even when they work it out they have trouble reading the station names and ticket information. The interesting thing is that almost nobody will help these people. Instead, if they are taking too long (which means more than about 5 seconds) someone will just push them out of the way and start using the machine.

The second problem with the machines is that although they take notes as well as coins, they only take notes that are in good condition. Unfortunately, it's very rare to find a small denomination note that is in good condition. Most of the time they are wrinkled or torn. People try and use them anyway, but the machine just spits them out. They put the note in, it gets spat out, they put it in again, spat out again, in again, out again... this really pisses off the people who are waiting to use the machine. Inevitably, someone will just come and shove the person out of the way.

So, now we've got a ticket, we have to proceed to the platform. The lines and platforms are conveniently marked, but that doesn't mean it's easy to get there. If it's rush hour, then the scrum from the ticket area continues all the way to the platform. People just push and shove everyone who isn't moving fast enough, or is just generally in the way. It wasn't too bad for me because I was bigger than everyone, but I did see people get knocked over and I lost count of the number of times a shouting match started because someone took offense at being pushed.

Now, we're on the platform and the train is about to arrive. Once again, although there are queue lines painted on the floor, people just crowd around, push in front and it becomes a real mess. The single most incredible part is when the train arrives. In every single country I've been to, there is one common courtesy that everyone follows. Let people who want to get off get off first, then people who want to get on can get on. In Shanghai, this doesn't happen. As soon as the doors open, there is a crush of people trying to get on and get off. I couldn't believe it the first time I tried to get off a crowded train. I literally had to hip and shoulder my way through a crowd of people who were trying to push their way on. At first it was hard. But once you get used to it it is easier (but still very unpleasant). You simply have to ignore all the western manners you were taught, aim for a spot on the platform and SHOVE! Inevitably, people who want to either get on or get off will be unable to, and the train driver will simply ignore them and take off.

Finally, we're on the train. Again, the issue of 'personal space' arises. If you are in the way, people will push you. If you get too close to someone, they will push you. If someone is talking on the phone, they will be shouting. If you ask someone to move aside so you can get off, expect to be ignored. One time, I was on a crowded train and there was a young guy who couldn't reach the handles that hang from the ceiling. As the train went round a corner it jolted and the guy fell backwards slightly. When this happened he stepped on an old lady's foot. The old lady (who had been noisily complaining about something to her husband since she got on the train) went beserk. It was like Pandora's box had been opened. She started shouting at this guy and pushing him and didn't stop for 10 minutes. The guy basically ignored her, but it was one of the most ridiculous displays that I saw during my time in China. It was an accident, and she acted like the guy had just murdered her dog.

Unfortunately, this whole issue of the rudeness of most people in the city really left a lasting impression (as you can probably tell). Just to keep things in perspective, I'll skip ahead and let you know that these kinds of things didn't happen in Beijing (or HK, for that matter). Beijing people were kinder, more laid back and were generally courteous. As far as I can tell it's a Shanghai thing.

While I'm writing about the rudeness, it's probably time to talk about the other issue that foreigners will have problems with in China - spitting. Now, the guide book mentioned it, websites mentioned it, people who I talked to before the trip mentioned it, but I was still unprepared for what I saw. Chinese people spit. They spit all the time. They spit everywhere. And by everywhere, I mean EVERYWHERE. On the street, in parks, in shopping centers, on train platforms, inside trains, in restaurants, even on the carpet inside my hotel. And it's never just a little spit. It's always a massive, gurgling, phlegmy loogie that sounds like it has been hacked up from the bowels of hell. I guess part of it has to do with the pollution, and part of it has to do with the fact that many people come from the countryside... but still... it's hard to get used to.

Anyway, now that I've got the two major bad points out of the way, I'll get on with my trip.

As I said, I had decided to head for a quiet park. After catching two trains I got off at a fairly quiet station in the suburbs.

Oh yeah, I should probably mention that if you catch a train outside the busy periods, you don't have to deal with any of that rubbish I talked about before. Travelling between about 10:30 and 4:00 is generally quite enjoyable.

So, I exited the station and walked down an small street that had some small open air shops and restaurants. This was a really interesting part of the city because it was much poorer and it wasn't a tourist area. There were people cooking and eating in dirty little hovels, selling stuff that was old and dirty, and there were dirty kids playing in the streets. Interestingly, the people here were actually really friendly. Everyone was smiling and seemed to be having a good time going about their daily business, which was unusual for Shanghai.

A few minutes later I came to a special street (I forget the name) that had been designated a preservation area. The street had been closed to traffic to help preserve the history. It had some old buildings, an old church and a few shops. There weren't many people around except for some locals going about their business and some old people hanging out on the benches. Again, it was rare to see some historical buildings in Shanghai that were not recent recreations.

Here's part of the street.


Oh look, a truck going down the street that is supposed to be closed to traffic. What a surprise...


Some oldies hanging out.


An alley through a housing block.


A nice warm day.


After walking along the street I came to the gate, and a busy shopping area.


I walked for about 5 minutes along the shopping strip then I came to the park. Now, in reality, it's just a big park with lakes and gardens. Nothing special. But for me it was great because it really was a much quieter and slower place than the rest of the city. It was also great for seeing another part of Shanghainese life.

Here's a guy selling pets from the back of his bicycle. There were rabbits, mice, ferrets and maybe some other stuff. It's probably best not to know where they came from (the sewer?) or where they are going (lunchtime special?).


There were some ladies practicing martial arts. A couple were practicing some ancient tai chi forms. One lady was practicing the ancient art of pole twirling. And one lady was practicing the ancient art of balancing a pole on her head.


These people were all having a jolly old time singing some traditional Chinese songs. I couldn't understand any of it, but the guy on the right's expression tells me the must have been singing well.


A bridge and an old house.


Some old guys playing a board game in the house.


A quiet lake in the middle of the city. Unbelievable.


This lady was doing her morning stretches. She must have been about 80 years old and she could get her leg up next to her ear. It hurt just watching.


After the park I decided to go look for an internet cafe to book my Beijing accommodation. In Japan, there are places to access the internet everywhere. In China, it used to be the same. However, a few years ago there was a big fire in an unlicensed internet cafe and a whole bunch of people died. Since then, most internet cafes had been shut down by the government, and only a few licensed ones remained. Unfortunately, they are particularly hard to find and are often closed down with no notice. After an hour or two of searching, and with the help of my very unhelpful guidebook and a bit of luck, I found one. It was your typical net cafe - dark, smoky, filled with young people playing online games. Nobody there spoke English but there was an English instruction sign and the staff seemed used to dealing with foreigners. Without having to say anything, the lady just pointed to the sign and stuck out her hand. I read the sign (which told me I had to have my passport copied) and handed it over. The lady scanned the front page, the visa page, and then seemed to scan random pages (including blank ones) until she was satisfied (or maybe just tired). I was given a password, and a grandmother came over to help me find my computer and log in. I spent about an hour there, booking a hotel and doing some Bejing research. It cost about $1 if I remember correctly.

After the cafe I was pretty hungry so I checked the map. It turned out that I had wandered quite close to the Yu Yuan market that I went to the previous day. I remembered something interesting from the day before, so I headed back there to have a look. Actually, while wandering the market that day I had noticed two things. One was a famous shop restaurant selling boiled dumplings. The other thing (and by far the most amazing thing I saw in Shanghai) was a proper queue of people waiting to buy the dumplings. Yes. People were actually lining up properly. There was no pushing. No pushing in line. People were patiently waiting for over 20 minutes to get some dumplings! Unbelievable! Actually, I think most of the people in the line were tourists, so that probably explains things.

Anyway, I decided I wanted some dumplings (the previous day I hadn't felt like waiting in line for 20 mins), so I went there and lined up. When I got to the head of the line I gave some money to the typically rude lady who gave me a ticket, then I swapped the ticket for my dumplings, and finally I covered them in a vinegar sauce from a big jug. This is what they looked like.



There were 15 in one serving, and man were they good. Hot and delicious.....

I wandered around while eating and came to this place, where I could watch various foods being made. The sign says there are foreign cakes and that you can taste the world food, but it was really all just Chinese yum cha stuff.

After finishing my dumplings I went inside this Yum Cha restaurant. It was like a big school cafeteria serving Yum Cha, but in reverse. Instead of having things wheeled around on carts, it was all self service. You wander around the various areas and pick plates of various Yum Cha goodies. Because I had eaten dumplings I felt like some savoury things, so I got these two dishes. It was actually a little too savoury by the end as my mouth and throat were completely parched.



After lunch I wandered some more.



I ended up wandering through a shopping center selling clothes. Most Chinese people wear cheap Chinese made clothes. There are various brands with western names, but this one caught my eye. Apparently my sister has her own label in China.


After this I headed back to my hotel for a break. In the evening I went to Shanghai station to get a ticket to Beijing for the next day. Shanghai station was typically disgraceful. There were about 40 ticket windows, but only about 6 were in use. There were about 500 people waiting to buy tickets. While I was lining up in the only English speaking line there was an announcement, and about 20 more booths opened up. Unsurprisingly there was a mad rush of people to get to the new windows. People were pushed, shoved and knocked over. Actually, it was good for me because some people left my line to go to shorter ones. As I got towards the head of the line (or the pack) I noticed people in front of me getting turned away by the lady in the booth. I don't know what it was all about, but they asked for something, got a negative reply, asked again, and then the lady in the booth cracked the shits. There was a short shouting match and the the lady swiveled around on her chair, crossed her arms and stared straight at the wall. Finally, the person would give up and leave. This actually happened to more than half the people in line in front of me. Anyway, I got to the front, asked for a ticket and was told that there were only soft sleeper tickets. The price was actually the same as my HK-Shanghai hard sleeper, so I was fine with that.

After the station I decided to catch a taxi back to the hotel and have a late dinner. I know I talked about the crazy traffic before, but I have to say that the taxi ride was the single most exciting thing I did on my trip. Being a pedestrian in the crazy Shanghai traffic is one thing, but riding in a taxi is something else. The guy would slam his foot on the gas and sprint up to about 80, then, at the last second, would slam his foot on the brakes and stop about half a centimetre from the car in front. He would go nuts on the horn, drive on the wrong side of the road to get past any slow traffic, routinely ignore traffic lights and go round corners so fast that the tyres were squealing. It was 15 mins of pure adrenalin, and for about $2 it was also a very cheap thrill.

I can't remember what I had for dinner, but I can remember watching my soccer team win 6-4 in a ridiculous match. I can also remember falling asleep while praying for a decent breakfast the next day.