I'm on a roll now. Two days in a row. Unbelievable.

Today's goal is to finally finish my trip report from January. It's quite a while back, so there are lots of things I've forgotten, but I'll do my best.

After passing through Vietnam immigration everyone got back on the same bus and we headed off for Saigon, or Ho Chi Minh City depending on who you talk to. As soon as you cross the border you can see that Vietnam is more developed and more affluent than Cambodia. Houses and shops are slightly more modern, cars and bikes are better, things are a little cleaner and the people don't look as poor. Don't get me wrong though, it's still a pretty rough place compared to Western countries, but it's a bit further up the scale from Cambodia.

The bus ride from the border to Saigon took about and hour and a half, I think. However, it seemed like it took about 5 hours because of the terrible traffic and the fact that the bus kept stopping at random spots to drop people off. Oh yes, the first thing you notice about cities in Vietnam is the traffic. People who have been there before always mention it and the guidebooks always mention it too, but until you actually see it it's hard to comprehend. There are cars and motorbikes EVERYWHERE. The motorbikes are particularly bad. When there is a red light, it's not unusual to find hundreds of them lined up waiting for a green.

Finally the bus arrived in the main backpacker area of town (I can't remember the name). Usually I book a hotel in advance, but this time I figured I would try finding one on arrival. I wasn't sure how hard it would be, but I thought it would be an interesting experience. So I wandered around a bit and found one that looked nice. I went in and asked if they had any spare rooms and the lady said no, but she knew a hotel that did have spare rooms. Her assistant told me to follow her and we walked for a few minutes and then arrived at another hotel. The hotel was run by a very motherly type Vietnamese lady who couldn't speak much English. She offered me two rooms, a single with no windows or a double with a balcony, and I decided to go for the single. The room was just like something you'd see in a movie about the Vietnam War (or the American War as they call it there). A basic bed, a wardrobe and a ceiling fan - perfect for a GI on R&R who was planning to spend his time out partying before heading back to the jungle. I quite liked it too. It's a little weird sleeping in a room with no windows, but I slept really well both nights I was there.

After dropping my stuff off I went out to get something to eat and sort out a few things. I was only in Saigon for two nights and I had to organise a train ticket and a tour for the next day.

First, something to eat. Vietnam has two awesome culinary achievements. The first is Pho, the noodle soup. It's simple, filling, cheap and delicious. I don't think I took a photo of it, but I'm sure you get the idea. I think had about a dozen bowls of the stuff over the ten days or so I was in Vietnam. The second is Banh Mi, the Vietnamese bread roll. It's a small baguette filled with various things, but usually a mix of pate, mayonnaise, sliced meat, some pickled vegetable and a squirt of fish sauce. It's sounds pretty disgusting but it tastes incredible.

In Japan you can't get crispy bread rolls, so for me this was heaven. They are dirt cheap too (less than 50c each if I remember correctly). I must have had about 20 of these during my trip. Breakfast, lunch, dinner - anytime is a good time for Banh Mi.

After finishing a bowl of Pho and a Banh Mi for desert I went to find a travel agent who could get me a train ticket (it was too far to go to the station to buy one there). On the main road I found nice guy who got me a ticket on a sleeper to Hanoi, and he also booked me in for a tour the next day. I really hate joining tour groups, but I was interested in seeing the Cu Chi tunnels used by the Vietcong and a tour was the only feasible way to do it. It was a half day tour, so I figured that it would leave me half a day to explore Saigon before I headed off to Hanoi the next day.

So, after some more food I headed back to the hotel. Along the way I stepped in a puddle of black stuff (which really sucks when you're wearing white shoes and white socks). I don't know what it was, but it was the same colour as the road. I was very surprised when I stepped off the footpath expecting to step on road but stepping in a hole filled with black stuff instead. It took me about half an hour to clean my shoes and wash my socks, then I went to bed. During the night there was some commotion downstairs. I'm not really sure what happened but there was a massive bang which woke me up. It sounded like someone was trying to kick down the front door of the hotel. There was some shouting and arguing and some more door kicking then it went quiet. I have no idea what happened, but by the morning everything was back to normal.

I got up early and went to meet the bus which would take us to the tunnels. The tunnels were about 75 kms outside Saigon, but with the horrible traffic and the mandatory stop for toileting and souvenir buying at a factory along the way, the trip took well over 2 hours. During the ride the tour conductor talked about the war. His story was interesting, though even being there and seeing the people and landscape, it's hard to imagine what it would have been like. He did have one interesting fact that he promised you wouldn't hear about in history books or travel guides. During the war there were lots of North Vietnamese spies and saboteurs working in Saigon, but the American forces had trouble finding them because they couldn't tell the North and South Vietnamese apart (obviously, the look the same and dress the same). However, he claimed that there was one question you could ask any Vietnamese in Saigon that would instantly tell you whether or not they were a NV soldier in disguise. What was the question? I'll let you think about it for a little while...

Around midday we arrived at the Cu Chi tunnels. The Cu Chi tunnels are a series of tunnels that were built under a wide area on the outskirts of Saigon. NVA guerilla soldiers would live in the tunnels while conducting guerilla warfare against the South and the Americans. Many of the tunnels have been destroyed, but some of the Cu Chi ones remain for tourism. On arrival, our group was given a special sticker to tell us apart from the other groups, and we were ordered not to wander off on our own. I can't remember exactly, but I don't think you're allowed to visit the site without a guide. Anyway, the tour started with a video presentation. It was a short history of the war, which was interesting in itself, but the most interesting part was that it was produced and written by the victors, the Communist North. The video was intended to leave you with no doubt that the North was persecuted by the evil Americans, that the victory by the North was a righteous and justified result, and that Communism is great. Hmm.

After the video we were shown examples of the tiny tunnel entrances and exists, fake tunnels, and some of the numerous traps that the VC used to kill unwary soldiers. There were also some tanks to climb on and some displays showing the terrible conditions in the tunnels.

As we wandered along we got closer and closer to the firing range, one of the 'hands on' parts of the tour. As soon as you arrive at the tunnel site you can hear guns being fired in the distance, which kind of adds to the atmosphere of the tour. The firing range is the midpoint of the tour, a chance for people to go to the toilet, buy some snacks and, if they want to, fire some guns. They have a wide range of guns, from the standard AK47 used by the North and and M16 used by the Americans, through to a big ass tripod mounted Browning heavy machine gun. If you want to fire the guns, you have to pay for the ammo, and different types of ammo have different prices. The cheapest was the AK47, which worked out at about $1.50 a bullet, while the big ass machine gun cost maybe 5 times as much. While our group was standing around buying food and ammo, someone from a previous group let rip with the big ass machine gun. Everyone in the area jumped in shock, and when it finally stopped there was stunned silence, except for one guy who let out a long "Fuuuuuuuuck..." . It was pants wettingly loud. It was so loud that I even though I was about 30 metres away there was no way I could hear someone talking right next to me.

Anyway, I paid for a clip of AK47 ammo, and was escorted down to the range. My assistant loaded the gun and I bent down to aim (the guns are attached to a rail to stop people accidentally shooting each other). The range was about 100 metres long and down the far end were a series of big metal targets with animals painted on them.

I took aim at the horse, fired off three shots and hit three times. The assistant tapped me on the shoulder, shook his head and told me to aim for the little red ones. Ok. The red ones were about the size of a football, and at 100 meters distance I figured they would be pretty hard to hit. I lined it up, pulled the trigger and BANG!, the little red football was blown off its stand. It was a surprisingly good feeling, and I was most surprised at how easy it was. I lined up the next one and BANG! That one was blown of its stand too. I lined up the next one hoping for three in a row, pulled the trigger and CLICK! - misfire. My assistant cleared the chamber and put up one finger to keep count of the misfires. All the ammo is surplus from the war (someone mentioned that they have enough surplus ammo to keep doing this for the next hundred years), so many of the shells misfire, and for each misfire you get a free shot at the end. I paid for ten but probably went through eight misfires too. Anyway, from my 7 shots at the small red targets I had four hits, which was about three more than everyone else, so I was pretty happy. As I was leaving I noticed a sign that said you can win a prize depending on how many targets you hit. I should have won a keyring or something but my assistant forgot to mention it. Oh well.

After the shooting range there were a few more displays before we arrived at the grand finale, a chance for us to crawl through the tunnels. The tunnel we could crawl through was about 100 meters long, and had apparently been widened for big fat tourists. There were exits every 15 meters, so if you got in trouble you could get out. Our group had about 40 people, and of the 40 about 30 went into the tunnel. I went in at the end with two German guys. Just in front of me was another German guy and his girlfriend. They got into a big fight because the girl didn't want to go in but the guy wanted her to. In the end the went in and the girl ditched at the first exit. Next, I went in with the two German guys. The first thing you notice is that the tunnels are incredibly hot and humid. I imagined they would be cool, but I was very much mistaken. At the start, the tunnel is about 1m20 or 1m30 high. I could walk along bent over without too much trouble. However, as you continue on the tunnel gets smaller and smaller. Before long I was down on my hands and knees wondering how much smaller it could get. A bit further along and I was pulling myself along on my stomach. Finally, we popped out in a small shelter. In our whole tour group, only the three of us made it all the way to the end. It was certainly a unique experience, and I'm glad that I didn't have to live there during the war.

After that we headed back to the bus and went back to Saigon. The tour ended at the place we started, but it also made one stop at the War Museum for those who wanted to get off there instead. I decided to get off at the museum, and spent about half an hour wandering around there. There were lots of tanks, planes and big guns, as well as displays about various atrocities committed during the war. It was a little more informative than the displays at the tunnels, and although I was pretty tired by then it was a good way to spend half an hour. After that I got some food (I can't remember what, but probably Pho) and went back to crash at the hotel.

The next day I got up late in the morning, stocked up on some Banh Mi and went off to the station. The station was only about 1.5 km away, and I had at least 3 hours before my train departed, so I decided to walk. Along the way I saw a little more of Saigon, and a little more of the Vietnamese way of life. My experience in Saigon was strange. I was there for 2 days but really didn't see much of the city. It looks like a city with a lot to offer and a lot of chances for exploration, but the terrible traffic and the lack of a decent transportation system makes it both tiring and unpleasant to get anywhere. It's one of those cities I'm kind of ambivalent about. I'd like to go there again, but if I don't have a chance to then I won't be too upset.

The walk to the station took about an hour, but about 20 minutes of that was spent standing at an intersection watching chaos unfold. Traffic in Saigon is bad, but there are rules (both written and unwritten). People generally follow the rules and everyone flows along at a slow pace. However, at this intersection the traffic lights weren't working, so everyone it became a free-for-all. Just after I crossed this intersection there was a big bang. I assume that two cars collided. I stood there watching as cars, buses and bike came from all direction trying to weave their way through the intersection with no lights and a crash in the middle. It was great entertainment.

After arriving at the station, I got some supplies and then got on the train. There were no soft sleepers available so I was in a hard sleeper, a room with 6 hard bunks. My companions were 4 Vietnamese guys and one lady. The train left at about 2:00pm and was due to arrive in Hanoi at about 8:00pm the next day, so I had about 30 hours of train travel to look forward to. The train trip was almost the same as the trains I took in China. The food was pretty bad, the toilets were dirty and broken, there was always someone snoring during the night and the bunks were too short and uncomfortable. Despite all this I generally enjoy long train rides. I can sit back and relax, sleep, catch up on some reading, chat with the other passengers, take some pictures or just sit and watch the world go by.

The train chugged along at a slow pace, making occasional stops at stations. Along the way I got to see lots of Vietnam. It was mostly fields and rice paddies, though the train also passed through mountains and along the coast. One day I'd like to go back and explore more of the country, maybe by motorbike.

During the night, the train stopped at a single line station and when it left it backed out, so when I woke up it looked like we were traveling the wrong direction. Adding to this was the fact that the people in my room were constantly changing as they swapped with family members who only had a seat ticket. Overall, it was very disconcerting, and led to a few "What the hell? Where am I?" moments after long sleeps.

A couple of hours before we arrived in Hanoi the guys in my room broke out a bottle of rice wine and some snacks. They invited me down from my top bunk and we started polishing off the bottle. Only one of the guys spoke any English (and he only spoke a tiny amount), so there was lots of communication through body language and the phrasebook, but everyone had a great time. The rice wine was horrible, kind of like a mix of Japanese sake and petrol, but after a few glasses all my taste buds became numb and it was much easier to drink. The snacks weren't great either. They were little pieces of mashed meat (maybe pork?) wrapped in leaves. Once again though, after a few glasses of the rice wine they started tasting pretty good. It didn't take long for us to finish the small bottle of wine. As soon as it was empty, one guy disappeared for a few minutes with the empty bottle, and when he came back it was full. Nice.

During the drinking session we talked about this and that (ok, you got me, I have no recollection of what we talked about...), but I do remember that it was probably the most fun I had on the whole trip. When we finally arrived in Hanoi there were lots of sad goodbyes and promises to e-mail (although I don't think we actually exchanged e-mail addresses), and I headed off to my hotel. By now I had had way too much rice wine and, putting it bluntly, was pretty hammered. On exiting the station I was greeted by about 100 touts who wanted to take me to my hotel. "Only 60,000 dong!", one shouted. "No, me only 50,000 dong!", the next one shouted. I knew my hotel was about 10 minutes away but had no idea how much I should pay to get there, so when one guy said "My taxi has a meter!", I decided to go with him. It turned out that he was one of those taxi guys with his meter set on 'lightspeed', so the trip cost about twice as much as the touts were offering, but I was in a good mood so I didn't mind.

After checking in I headed straight out to get some food. It was about 9:00 at night, my hotel was in the Old Quarter (a maze of streets and lanes - probably the most difficult place to navigate I have ever been) and I had had way too much to drink, but that didn't stop me finding a little neighborhood Pho stall and sitting down for some Pho with the locals. The locals were both surprised and amused that I was there, and I managed to have a great conversation in Vietnamese with the guy sitting next to me. I'm sure he didn't understand a single word of what I was saying, but I was very proud of my sudden fluency in their language. After the meal I miraculously made my way back to the hotel, stopping off on the way to get some drinks at a tiny little shop. The young girl and her sister also seemed amused at my appearance, and proceeded to charge me about 3 times as much as I should have paid (a fact I only noticed after returning to my room). After getting back to the hotel I started feeling a little bad, so I turned in for the night.

On waking the next day I had a shower and went off to look for some brunch. Amazingly, I only had a slight hangover, and after a brunch of (yes, you guessed it) Pho I spent the rest of the day wandering around Hanoi. The next day I did exactly the same thing too. Now that I think about it, I didn't really visit many tourists sites (only one, I think), but I really enjoyed spending the two days just wandering. The traffic in Hanoi is not great, but it's much better than Saigon, and the streets and footpaths are much wider. Unsurprisingly, Hanoi is a very French city. The roads, buildings, statues etc. all remind me of Paris.

Over the two and a bit days I spent in Hanoi, I didn't really do anything special, so I'll just post some photos and a few comments.

There is a big lake in the middle of town. It's a nice place for a stroll.

The streets of the Old Quarter.

The one tourist place I visited, the Philosopher's Temple (or something like that).

This photo is an interesting one. I was walking down this street when there was a big crash and some screaming. It seems that a tree collapsed onto some power lines and then onto the road. Just another say in S.E. Asia.

I saw a lot of Hanoi without really seeing anything stunning, but one thing that I clearly remember is this small lake. It was in the middle of town, surrounded by apartment buildings, and had a small island in the middle. Apparently someone lives on the island because there was a boat and a rope connecting the island and the shore. The picture doesn't do justice to the utter weirdness of the situation.

After three nights in Hanoi it was time to leave. I booked a train to take me down to Danang, in the middle of the country, where I would get a ride to Hoi An, a historical port town.

The journey from Hanoi to Danang wasn't particularly eventful (I can't even remember anything about the people in my bunk room), but I do remember meeting this American guy at the station in Hanoi. I was hanging around trying to decide how to spend the 45 minutes I had until the train left, when this big, fat middle aged American guy walked up to me and started talking. It was amazing. He just walked up and started the conversation like we were old friends (no 'Hi, nice to meet you.' or anything like that) , and once he started he wouldn't stop. At first it was pretty awkward for me, but after a while I found I was enjoying listening to him (and all I was doing was listening - he didn't stop for long enough to let me get a word in). He talked about everything, from the highlights of his trip to Hanoi with his family and his daughter's impending marriage (the reason he was in Hanoi), to his life and troubles back home. It wasn't all pleasant (somehow he managed to get his disgust of gays and his constant problems with 'gooks' into his story), but it certainly was unusual. The whole time he was talking he was stuffing his mouth with pistachio nuts and spitting the shells out on the floor. Finally, after about 20 minutes of talking, he disappeared as abruptly as he arrived, leaving behind only a pile of pistachio shells on the floor and one of those 'did that really just happen?' memories that I will probably never forget.

The train ride was much more uneventful, though the scenery was pretty good.

The next morning I arrived in Danang. From Danang I was planning to get a taxi to Hoi An, which was about an hour away, but while I was negotiating with a taxi driver out the front of the station he suggested I might like to go by Harley instead. The Harley ride was cheaper than a taxi and as I had just spent 20 hours on a train I thought it would be nice to ride along with the wind in my face for a while. So, the taxi driver called his buddy over with his Harley, loaded my bag on the back and we took off.

I've always had reservations about riding pillion on a motorbike, especially in S.E. Asia. Part of it is the issue is with the traffic conditions, but mostly I was concerned about a 40 kg Asian guy being able to control his little bike with me and my bag on the back. However, a Harley seemed like a good compromise, and it turned out to be a great trip. Riding along through Danang and then the countryside between DN and Hoi An was a refreshing experience. By the time we arrived in Hoi An my tiredness from the train ride had been washed away.

The Harley guy took me to my hotel, where I dropped off my bags, then took me for a short tour of the town. Along the way we stopped at a tailor which was run by his sister. Hoi An is famous for its cheap tailoring and there are literally hundreds of tailor shops. Just about everyone who goes there gets a tailor made suit. I was planning to as well, but had no idea which one to go to, so when the Harley guy recommended his sister's place I figured 'what the hell' and promised to go back later. After the quick stop he dropped me off at a riverside restaurant he recommended. I had a nice lunch of grilled prawns and noodles, then went off to explore the town.

Hoi An is an ancient port town that now relies on tourism. It's small, picturesque and very quiet compared to the rest of the country. Apart from visiting tailors, walking the town streets and eating great food there isn't really that much to do, but that's what makes it a great place to visit.

Here are some photos of the town.

That evening I went back to the tailor shop. I didn't really need a new suit, but I figured it would be an interesting experience, so I decided to get one. Now, I don't really like clothes shopping, it's more of a chore than a pleasure for me, but have clothes tailor made for you is definitely a fun experience. Picking out styles from the magazine, picking out the cloth, getting measured, then coming back a day or two later and to pick up your own special clothes is actually quite fun. It was actually hard to resist when the lady kept suggesting "how about one more suit?", or "one more shirt would be great, wouldn't it?". In the end I got one 3-piece suit and three shirts for the princely sum of about $150, and although I don't wear the suit often I absolutely love the shirts (although I've had to resew about 6 of the buttons over the last year).

After the tailor shop I had dinner at another riverside restaurant. Man, the food was great and unbelievably cheap. I ordered 3 or 4 dishes as well as a dessert, and with drinks included it still came out at under ten bucks. I tried all of the three Hoi An specialties (copied from Wikitravel because I couldn't remember the names):

• Cao lầu, a dish of rice noodles which are not quite as slippery as pho and a bit closer in texture to pasta. The secret is the water used to make it, and authentic cao lau uses only water from a special well in the city. The noodles are topped with slices of roast pork, dough fritters, and this being Vietnam, lots of fresh herbs and veggies.

• White rose (banh bao vac), a type of shrimp dumpling made from translucent white dough bunched up to look like a rose.

• Wantan dumplings, essentially the same as the Chinese kind, served up in soup or deep-fried.

They were all great, but the white rose was probably the best.

After dinner I went back to my hotel. I was hoping to have an early night but I was kept up by some dickhead young people using the pool at about 10:00 at night (yes, I know I sound like an old fart).

The next day I got up, had breakfast at the hotel buffet (not particularly good), then did something I'd been looking forward to for the entire trip - I hired a motorbike and went on a day trip. Riding motorbikes in Vietnam is very dangerous, but if you're going to do it then Hoi An is a great place. There is little traffic, bikes are cheap (about $6 dollars a day), you don't need a license, and the scenery is great. Despite having no license and no riding experience, despite traffic being on the opposite side of the road, and despite nearly crashing in the hotel car park, it didn't take long before I was flying along having a great time. I didn't really have a plan as I wasn't sure how this whole 'riding a bike with no experience' would go, but in the back of my mind I thought it would be good to head off towards the Marble Mountains, a tourist site about 45 mins away. First stop though, was the gas station. I pulled into the gas station with no idea how much gas I needed and how much it cost, so I took out about $5 in notes and handed it to the guy. He looked at me quizically, handed back bout $3, and filled the tank. Awesome. I'm so used to paying though the nose to fill my car up that it was a pleasant surprise to see how cheap it was to fill up a bike in Vietnam.

After the gas station I headed toward the coast. Along the way I was getting used to the bike. It was actually much simpler than I thought it would be, and before long I felt very comfortable. Soon after I left the weather started to turn cloudy, and after half an hour it started to rain lightly. I stopped and put on the wet weather gear that came with the bike, then headed off towards the Marble Mountains. As I was riding along another bike came up alongside with two women on it. The woman on the back started speaking to me in English and we had a conversation while riding along. She started talking to me about where is was from and where I'd been, then she asked me where I was going. I told her I wasn't sure, then she suggested I go to the Marble Mountains, which is where she lives and where her family has a shop. She told me she would look after my bike while I climbed the mountain. I agreed, and followed her. About ten minutes later we arrived at her shop at the base of the mountain, where I left my bike.

The Marble Mountains is actually just a rock pillar that sticks up in the middle of a mostly flat area. It's a sacred site and has is covered with caves and shrines. It was interesting to walk around, and the best part was that there was almost no one else there. Unlike the caves in Malaysia, you can wander through the caves here without having to deal with hundreds of tour groups.

Here are some photos:

My super manly bike

The coastal road.

The Marble Mountains

Some random ride pics:

This one was weird. It seemed to be a ship that had become beached and had been turned into a restaurant.

After the mountains I went back to the shop to pick up my bike. I bought a jade souvenir there (the price of my bike parking), then headed back to Hoi An. After arriving back in Hoi An I spent some time riding through the town then stopped at a stall for some lunch. It was mostly the same stuff as dinner and it was just as good. My waitress was a girl about 10 years old, and after I ordered a Coke she kept telling me about how much she loved Coke. She said it about 10 times - "Oh I live Coke so much. It's my favorite drink!" - then she would stare right at me with a big smile on her face. Finally, I gave in and said "Would you like to have a Coke with me?" and she said "Oh yes!", so I said "Ok, add another Coke to my bill" and she disappeared to do just that. She came back a few minutes later, without a Coke. "Where's your Coke?", I asked. "Oh, I'll drink it later", she replied. Hmm.

After lunch I still felt like riding, so I headed off in the other direction. I rode for about an hour without seeing anything particularly interesting, then came back to town. I dropped off my back and had a snooze in my hotel before heading out again for dinner. I had pretty much the same dinner as the night before, though this time there was a once-a-month lantern festival going on right in front of the restaurant for me to watch.

On the way back to the hotel I stopped in to pick up my suit and shirts (after almost forgetting about them) then went to bed. The next morning I woke up and got a taxi back to Danang, stocked up on some Banh Mi, then boarded a train back to Saigon. This time I managed to get a soft sleeper, which I shared with a mother and two kids (a boy and girl) from New Zealand. The were really nice and it was nice to talk with people from home (well, near home). We played cards and other games and it was a nice way to pass the time. At about 10:00pm I was looking forward to some sleep but the kids decided to play soccer in the passage of the train (which pissed not only me but a lot of other passengers off). Finally mum told them to stop and we all went to bed. The train arrived in Saigon at about 6:00am, and I had a plane to catch to Singapore at about 9:30am. I decided to try my like with bikes again and got a ride to the airport on the back of a bike taxi. This ride was just as exciting, screaming through the near empty Saigon streets at 6:00 in the morning was a completely different experience from the regular chaos of Saigon. We arrived at the airport at about 6:30 and it wasn't open yet, so I spent the next hour or so snoozing on a bench out front. Finally the terminal opened and I dropped my stuff off before heading to the cafe for a breakfast of coffee and a croissant. I nearly had a heart attack when the waitress told me the price. US$6! What the hell! I'd spent the last few weeks eating in some of the cheapest places on Earth, so coming back to real prices was a bit of a shock.

The plane ride back to Singapore was uneventful. I caught the train to the hotel I had booked for the night. I had decided to splurge on a proper hotel room, unlike the cheap ones I had stayed in over the last few weeks. It was like heaven. Big soft bed, big flat screen tv, proper toilet, but most of all, a decent shower. All the places I had stayed in had pretty poor bathrooms, with most just having a shower hose in the wall and a drain in the floor. But this hotel had an awesome shower, and for someone who was dirty, stinky, unshaven and tired it was like a dream come true. I'm not sure how long I spent in there, but I'm sure some environmentalists wouldn't be impressed.

After the super long shower I went out to find something to eat. I ended up at one of the outdoor food courts where I ordered a mountain of satays. Oh my god, I'm drooling just thinking about it. They were unbelievably good. After that it was back to the hotel for a rest, out for dinner again, then back for another ridiculous shower, then off to bed. The next morning I woke up, went to the airport and headed back to Japan.

Phew. Done.

I'm sure I've left a lot out but I'm sure this will satisfy most of my audience.